Resurrection Of My Old Self

Recently felt weird n different feel that my tolerance is running short again.....feel that my old self is resurrecting again n my heart is really itching to hit Raja once again for he is totally too much now the only thing he needs to do is to lay a finger on anyone from my class n all hell would unleash like wat PS.Daniel said the old self of everyone would come alive once in a while n we have to keep it down but now i feel that i m unable to do it for whenever i see what he do the devil would control partly of me even though i could keep my cool but the problem is how long can i keep it??? Now even though I have God with me but i still find it a little difficult to do it is it due to the faith is not strong enough???

God its all up to u now Lord for i do not know what will happen next seeing the circumstances now , O God i pray that all would b under control n nothing would happen as i do not want to see hell unleash once more in my class like the previous time

Well today went to visit my cousin n really thank God for healing fast she now awake from the coma n could breath on her own now , n if i m not wrong she could b transfer out of ICU soon most likely by tomoro....when i reach there she was like crying cos she wanted to take the sweet in the big milk bottle where its is used for putting coins n which u could buy outside but though she could wake up now but i see her n i could felt the pain she is undergoing by the piercing of the needles on her hand n she felt sick inside too n i know it felt terrible but all i could do is to see her cry n there nothing i could do but anyway now its all up to God.....All could do is only fast n pray for her n even those who wants to invite their friend this sat for the Evangelistic Out Reach that they will come n experience God thats all for wat i could do now.........

Today svr was a little cheem but still understood wat was PS.Daniel preaching about n for praise n worship was quite fun juz like normal as always n today preaching was about Governing Our Emotion then while preaching PS.Daniel scolded the word F*** which i always scold oftenly..........in the past n we all heard it n was like stunt that he would say it out but we all noe it was by accident that he say it out as he is trying to teach us how we could tolerate n then try to forgive by controling our emotion. PS.Daniel also ask us if we have anyone whom we should forgive or if we were angry with God n ask us to write down the names of the person n wat r we angry with for the name part i shan tell u for its confidential but for the God part i shall tell i was sometime angry with God for planning all such unhappy event in my life n allowing it to hapen all in a row i would sometime ask "Why God? Why would all this happen when things r going well for us n things strike all in a row?" Can anyone tell me why is this hapening? Anyone....i m fine drop me a comment. For cell today we have 孟伟(dunno if its correct) with us n it makes it quite interesting cos we have to translate to him for all the thing taught today n y we have quiet time n many more n oh ya today was Rachel Birthday we celebrate it with her b4 splitting into our masterlife grp n we have our long time no see fellow sister today with us that is Hannah n Shufen then when cell finish did wat i usually do that is to call Munchong to sit down n have a talk.....tell u all something i think i m hook on doing that after cell everytime n shhh dun tell him ar i will blog this only cos i m confident that he will neva come my blog n see hehe....while talking to him my mother called n got to noe that my baby cousin was admitted to KK's ICU for she have fit n is now in coma with breathing machine to support her breathing...she was the second child of my uncle as the first child died in the womb n the third one also died in the womb this year n y would all this happen i dunno......i really hope that nothing will happen to her for she only a child age 2 n did not experience much of anything on earth if its ok i would want to exchange my life for hers as i had live 15yrs on earth n i m contented with wat i have done even to noe the true feeling of falling in love with someone though its a painful process but i really pray she will live on n then the though of why would God let it all happen together n i would not mind actually if it concern other matter but y muz it b something to do with life n death which life was such a precious thing..... now i m confuse n actually angry with God , but easier said then done how would i b angry with God for he send his son to earth to die for us? Now i m really confuse but can u all pray for my cousin health?

Today suddenly have the urge to blog so come blog lor.........
Recently many things happen and i m tired of it how i wish it was all juz a dream.....there r times when i really feel like giving up n juz let it go but the thought of my cell grp members prevented me from doing it.....for the past 2 months plus since my grandma is admitted to the hospital , i m really tired n there was a period of time where i collapse but it was my cell grp members who stood by me through out this time n encourage me unlike my sch friends which makes me recover from it till recently when i m beginning to feel tired once again....but they still stood by me. I really dunno if i would stand through it but i should trust God shouldn't i? I could be smiling in front of u but do u really noe how i felt deep in my heart others then my cell members?
Fall sick liao n is like the worst....every night block nose then even now blogging also block nose really hard to breathe.....haiz.....


To sch mate:I would b smiling but u wun noe how i felt so dun even bother to ask if u happen to see my blog cos 我太了解你们了


To Cell grp members:Like i said b4 thanx for standing by me through out this time n even keeping me in prayer n i m gonna say it again thanx


*Sometime i really feel like the "person" in the song.......really tired i m no superman i m only a man

Today svr was so fun , in all these month for the past 6 month did not jump ard till today due to injury which was now healed din noe that it was so much fun jumping n hopping ard but felt a little hot though......then today sermon was a little "unique" then past sermon today sermon did not use much of the bible verse except Romans 12:1-2 n Matthew 3:2 , 8 n Mark 1:15 , 6:12 then from today svr got to noe that "the devil tempts the idle , but the idle tempts the devil" which i think that is quite true for that phrase cos whenever its deep in the night when i m not asleep with nothing to do i would have all negative thought of wat would happen to my grandma its like the devil is placing negative thought in me n maybe thats what God wants to tell me. Then for cell we had Cheryl cousin n friends with us but din noe if they accept Christ into their life for a start all was well till when cell ended then i think bout my grandma n told Cheryl they all that when i first noe that she might died , i was not mentally prepared but then when i have those negative thought again i told them that if my grandma would to be pass away now i would still not b mentally prepared for it then n if she were to really pass away i would lose my mind n do not noe what i should do.....actually when i was telling June n Brendan that time my tears was like coming out but it did not , i was holding it back but eyes was a little watery then Cheryl use verses from the bible to tell me like Philippians 4:6-7 n some more then they all pray for me n my grandma n June said that now most important is to spread the Gospel to my grandma but as she was against Christianity we never shared with her for fear she might b agitated n things will get worse so June said that now the top priority is to have salvation so that she might go to heaven so we should leave the job to others who God will plan (i pray). Then when leaving was alone wanting to have a quite time alone n walk to the bus stop then felt better after being alone then basically thats all la n got to noe that Munchong is going to accept Christ soon. Praise the Lord for that

Ps.To my cell grp members thanx for all that happen in Church

Today brought the Part A for trainfire n when we reach there , we were told to wait for other sch to finish b4 we take over the rifles , then in the meantime i was writing their admin form for the withdrawal of rifle but then after waiting for at least 20min the SAF officer told us to go take another set of rifle instead of waiting then me n the other specialist n 2 senior was like Wa Lao now then say waste so much time causing us not to be able to teach finish all the things n were called to keep rifle......then me n one of the senior we waited behind the NCC van while the rest queue n after we check clear the rifle we pass it to them to oil it b4 keeping it into the armoury room......but although had to do all this i dun mind cos can skip Raja tutorial for today then at trainfire there was only 1 CLT ard n the whole event was held by only the specialist only then when return sch the senior decided to let them have a training for 45 min n the new officer approve of it as he see the standard is like sh*t then the senior kept on pumping them n i was juz sitting one side as i was tired n did not want to take them but after telling them to lock their arms a lot of time , i could not take it anymore n finally pump them 10 push up as they were tired out by the pumping that the senior executed on them then finally 6.20 arrive n the senior decided to release them. But we all like the new office sia , we told him we would dismiss them by 6 but when he came down he did not order us to release them he also waited there even though he wanted to go home till we dismiss them....if he were to be Dunearn's CO we would comfirm get Gold unit yearly man. All the specialist n senior salute him sia

This is actually n update of what happen after i posted my blog juz now.....Stefen msg me n ask me if i hated Alister but true enough i sometime hated Alister , then i used one of the verse from the bible that is "Anyone who claims to live in the light but hates his brother is still in darkness.Whoever loves his brother live in the light" n talk to him bout it n explain that if he hate him he will live in darkness in his life. After that , he explain a problem bout being wrong so i use a method of the new life n tell him how to solve it next time which is to solve it between each other if its still not solve , bring a person along for him to determine whose right but if still no result is seen consult a teacher...n he said i m a changed person....now i could use verses to tok to him how to solve his problem luckily got the Holy Spirit help me.....

Today svr was awsome!!!!! Today pastor preach about "The Will Of God" then he had ask us many question today during svr n one of the question is wats the meaning of God will ? Then got one gal from dunno which cell grp say this "To make disciple of all nation baptizing them in the name of the Father and Son and the Holy spirit" then Ps. Daniel say was so kiang* sia then today was also a little special for cell grp cos got special request to say how i felt when Cheryl they all went to visit my grandma but somehow got a feeling that ppl will accept Christ n true enough Rachel's friend Jie Xin (if i m not mistaken) really accepted Christ praise the Lord for that but 1 thing dissapointed me though......Munchong still did not accept Christ at first before svr i did not have the feeling but then , the feeling came only after she n Munchong responded to the altar call together with us that cause me to have the feeling. And for cell , dunno y i got called to do prayer when b4 masterlife but nvm then b4 closing of cell grp , we are sitted in a circle , then we called Munchong to pray but u all should noe the answer....then Cheryl called Brendan then i was looking at Brendan direction then he suddenly like hinting me something n i was like blur blur so i look towards Cheryl there n got called to do closing prayer but nvm dun mind anyway but still hoping Munchong will accept Christ so called him to sit down at the table then ask him y he neva accept Christ.....at first i was fooling ard n talk to him as if a police officer interrogating a criminal but then got to serious tok n ask him la but still did not want to haiz.....then i tok to him really feel like long** pia** sia but then carrying the hope of him to accept Christ ask him if he wanna noe my life testimony so sat down n told him my life story but in the end still haven accept Christ n oh ya maybe by next svr i could be hopping n jumping ard already.



*Kiang=Clever in Hokkien
**Long Pia=Go n bang the wall with your head

A Whole New Experience

Today was a more special National Day for me , church had a praying event called "National Day Prayer and Fast" then went to church from morning till late noon unlike all past year where u will find me on my bed. Then woke up at 7.30 but run back sleep n woke up ard 8.45 after bath n prepare was ard 9.00 tot was late so decided to sit a cab down cos if sit bus comfirm late then who knows reach there only got Caleb ard , all was late.....but nvm started service(Is it called service???) without Cheryl they all , went up with Munchong n Michelle. But today was a whole new experience for me to pray for such a long time in a row. Let u all in a secret actually when praying(sitting down) i fell asleep for a short period of time but dunno y lei.....and today 3rd session was the best with Pastor Ong n the other person dunno who they kept on joking ard then i did not felt tired at all.....but there are still 3 thing which is so called bothering me......why would the two people "faint" after the senior pray for us??? And why would the senior pray so fast for others then pray so long for me n even press my head n shake it??? But felt really relax when the senior pray for me mayb like what my mother said that the Holy Spirit enter my body n most mystically , and why when the senior pray would have the smell of a essence which smelt real nice n even when he left the smell is still hanging ard??? Hmmm.....who to ask??? My lao pa??? Alright better dun joke ard with Jesus , *Ding* i noe......ask my God ask Jesus.

Juz as i promise back to update the blog post that was posted in the morning....Today we had a last rehearsal for G.O.H juz b4 parade start , we juz rehearse the march in n the guard inspection command then during rehearsal all was like not up to even the normal contigent standard much more we r even the G.O.H but when the actual thing start our march in was very good not like the starting all was banging very solid n when the band stop blowing the march-in song the bang sound "tat" was so pleasing to the ear man. Not only that even during the drills in the parade the sound remain the same then finish parade we went up to hall n watch the concert performance then we were like the most special 1 the seat had paper with "RESERVE FOR GOH DO NOT SIT" then was like so sart man.....then after sch we stayed in sch till all officer n senior left we cook maggi noodle in admin room then we eat inside b4 going home. Well thats all going to have a rest after a tiring day.

Finally the Big day we have all been rehearsing is here already then after today of hardship , its our turn to take back the commanding post from the senior after the parade , then decided to wake up early n use computer cos need to give ppl wake up call. Got nothing much to blog about anything after the parade everything then i update again gtg , give morning call liao

Yesterday svr was so good man , the band was like so power sia if got competition comfirm win 1......but then i feel something strange lei after the Holy Communion i felt that everything seems to go very fast when singing the song or is it my brain lagging??? Aiya dun care la then Pastor Daniel preach about ministry n said that we r created to serve others which seems quite true.....n he say this phrase which was so good but i forgot what phrase it is liao. Leave cell at ard 5.30 for Mr. Hisham wedding dinner at Clementi west then saw alot of teacher there got the "Chicken Little" at there n saw Denzel at there n after the wedding which ends ard 10+ me , Denzel , Alister we sat at the chair under the block the at there talk till 11.30 b4 going home then Denzel go disturb Yu Ting till she cry sia she felt sacred of Denzel sia then we told Denzel dun disturb liao he still dun listen haiz.....

Puzzled me???

What cause a man to change in sudden? Will the environment cause him to change? Will the needs of that person cause him to change? Well i dunno cos many thing had happen in school especially in sch like Meng Yih lost his hp during parade rehearsal then got to know that today during concert rehearsal today for NDP , someone lost her phone then b4 parade start Prasad lost his gloves n i think that it is very stupid la steal a glove for wat......then many thing happen this week for me be it sch or "personnel" like recently after sch is very busy the whole week then going to pok liao. Then got to know there is a little change of post in NCC n that Annur put a "useless" IC under me where he could do nothing even if he attend training cos he had attitude problem n when i heard it i was like WTH might as well dun give me an assitance IC i might as well hold the duties of the Part A ICs by myself then for my life is that grandma was suppose to be out of Isolation Ward but then she was transfer out due to fever but then was transfer in the next day again dunno for wat reason ....and yesterday my grand aunt got into a accident the bus juz went pass or should i say crush through her leg n was admitted to hospital then the bus driver juz drove the bus off without stopping or anything.....better dun let me find out who the bus driver is or he would have to pray when he go out everyday.....

Yesterday was Hui Qi / Ah-mei b'day then bought the cake for her from Polo cake actually intended to cut cake after tutorial which is ard 4+ , but then still drag till 6.30 then cut cake n we were at there singing Happy birthday song for her everything was fine for my mood we were all happy n laughing away till....the stupid Victor came n then kept on kao this kao that but actually i dun really give a damn bout that cos it was my mei mei b'day then dun wanna do anything but till he say the cake looks like shit then not nice its was till then i flare up n shouted at him in front of them. Then they were like stunt n then i say juz carry on with it dun bother bout it then he have nothing to say lor n walk away. I flare up bcoz buying the cake is like to celebrate n wanting all to b happy n he at there criticise it n buying a present is the thought that count wat not the price of it , then he at there criticise