moment by moment
second by second
something is dieing within me and its causing a hole in my heart
my heart slowly get empty by day
something is very wrong now................

Rest is what i yearn for, but its also what i do not get for the past two weeks
spiritual rest i get, but not physical rest and my body is weak now

Saw this video on youtube, so thought why not put it up let you all see



bout this man reviving from death after pleading to God for a chance to live, watch for more info

some good website i stumble across
http://www.extremeprophetic.com/
* http://www.stacistory.com *

the stacistory one is very good, go to the website and watch the movie

Amazing Race

FINALLY!!! Amazing race is over, Saturday had amazing race, my team consist of Ali(TL), Adeline, Amelia, Cai Shi, Lovelle, Peirong, Rachel, Donric, Munchong and Me of course......Its the first amazing race i join since i came to Youth Impact in 2006, tiring though but yet I also learn things from the process of it.....First stop was the Bukit Batok Nature Reserve, had some problem with the maps drawing though, from the orientation of the map, it shows that its behind the "Old Ford Factory", ran all the way up just to find out from the person in charge there that its not here but at the other side, he say that actually there no World war I thingy, but the words suppose to be World War II and its at the other side, so went all the way down and up again the steep slope, roughly around 30-45 degrees in elevation, half walk half ran, took some photo there, 2nd stop is the rock climbing station, third was IMM, easy to find the people though, somehow we were like some magnet, we were finding any of the three once we enter IMM and Kenneth Yeo(???) aka the soldier came walking our direction, so was rather easy, went into GIANT to find the food for our quiz, split up inside and some went to find the things, some went to buy water, completed it in 15-20 mins, 4th stop was Clementi woods, met Rebekah group at Clementi Bus stop, when we reach both team were finding the spot for the game, start runnning round, but due to some of their navigation mistake, we manage to get there first, 4th sub station was the blindman stop before the final sub station which was the slider, got all dirty up there, Munchong kick mud right into my face sia, luckily was wearing specs, there was this point in time where the mud flew right to my specs, of which the position shows clearly that it would hit right into my eyes, had mud all over me, think i was the one who kena the worst in the cell group, had mud from outside shirt to inside my shirt to under my pants, spent lots of time washing ranging from sat night to mon morning, think i wasted lots of water, bill gonna be very high sia this month, seeing the fact that after scrubbing for like 30 mins, took the easy way, hang my clothes there and took the water spray to spray my shirt, think i used more than 5 large pails of water just spraying my shirt, 5th stop was Vivocity, by then my tired mind was already blank, caused by lack of sleep over the weeks, somehow just can sleep only till 1-2 am in the morning before waking up at 6am daily for school and stuff, plus the night before amazing race also had same problem, so was already mentally tired, completed the task at 1700 hrs, reached outram station at 1720 and after some discussion and Ali called June for opinion, decide to drop off last station which was kayaking since last game would be at 1745, and travelling alone would need 30 mins.....head back church all dirty and smelly, change into another set of clean clothes then prepare for svr and discussion, when Ali share bout discussion is when God speaks to me by putting things into my head, like when Ali said actually everyday in our lives, we are having an amazing race, and i saw the fact that through this race, some were pushed to their limits, be it physical or mental, i meant all were already tired, but we still completed the race (ok mayb cant say really completed, but we tried), and with encouragement, there always this bit of strength that never runs out inside of us, its like the "reserve battery" in us that will always be charge up with every encouragement.....so like in our physical, when we are really pushed to our limits, we manage to finish the race with encouragement, but in our spiritual can we? This is what God ask me, he ask if in my spiritual, when we are really at our limit, can I still fight it out that last strength in me?

Realize that i had been running away even when everything seems right, realize that I've been running from what God called me for, i meant i know the direction to go but somehow mayb i just cant accept the fact for the calling

Who can ever get enough of praising you O mighty God
Who can ever comprehend of your wonders
Who can ever get tired of your beautiful creations
Who can ever understand your ways
No one but the Lord Mighty God Himself

Was sitting at the bus stop after work looking up into the sky raging with lightning and this came to my mind, thought it was good

To compromise or not?

Went makan steam boat with some of my close brothers at bugis and after eating was sitting at the railing along the carpark coz they say want rest, then i start to think if this time should i compromise? Ever since Gabriel called me on thurs, began to start thinking, should i compromise this time round? As everyone know some of us are trying to get to Gabriel, but this time round i can feel he is using us for his own benefit, start thinking if should I meet him up or just forget it? Is it worth? When someone is using those who are concern for him just for his work?

someone tell me..........

Oh ya, guys thanks for the birthday wishes, and PHOTO PLZ, anyone can get me the photo we took at church office?

Radical Conference just ended in less then 12 hours ago, war with the devil begin to start in everyone, REVOLUTION begin in everyone.







For sermon, what really spoke to me was the first session on saturday which is also the third session. Pastor Preston spoke about us able to give life and bring death to people, like the story in Luke 22:47-52, Jesus disciple pull out his swords and struck down the ear of servant of the high priest. Like us, many are always pulling out our sword, i cant say that my hands are clean, i cant say that i never speak death to others, i cant say that i had not "killed" anyone before. My hands are stained with blood, much more blood then what you can expected, for one thing i can say is that its not from church, but outside, i "killed" many outside, injured many. Even my very own "sister", i spoke deep fearing death into her, i "killed" her once. You know, many are hurt here, but like what Pastor Preston say, "Everybody hurts, but nobody quits", i cant say i never quit before, i cant say i had hold on to God. There were times when i seek drinking, i went into drinking and many more, but thankfully, there were always people around me place by God to help me sustain through what God say through their mouth, like Cheryl, June, Sis Wanping and Sis Karen. They were the few that would really be the 4 people in Luke 5:17-26, they would bring me to God and not away when i am totally down, when i am totally broken, when i am totally weak and unable to take another step, when i am totally "injure" to carry on anymore, like what Pastor Preston said, when you are down, the crowd can bring you anywhere, what more the paralytic man in Luke 5:17-26 when he cant even have the choice to move, he can only go where others bring him, but for us its not physical but its emotional, spiritual and even mentally. Who does not get hurt in life? Like what Pastor Preston said, some people get bitter, some people get better, are you getting into bitterness or better? Like this story he shared bout the firefighter whom went into the falling building and save 5 lives, when the reporter ask him how he felt bout being a hero, he said"I'm not a hero, its just my job". Like him, when everything is crumbling down, he still go and pick people up, thats a real hero. When everything in their life is crumbling down, they still go in and pick you up amongst all the agony, pain and hurt, thats a true hero. Pastoral Team, they are the one, Leaders, they are the one

We can bring Joy to people or bring pain to people
We can bring life to people or bring death to people
We can bring hope to people or bring despair to people

Somehow, there is this thing inside me telling me many need help, like the song in casting crown
(continue below)


Does anybody hear her

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

somehow God is telling me, many are waiting for their hero to ride in, someone to help them, someone to sustain them and protect them now, but who God? Who? Give me the eyes to see, i am willing to go into it, like the song ready now by planetshakers, God I say I'm ready now, show me the person and i will go.....