Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Last post before 6 NOV (After Os)

Sermon was great, during last week svr, God healed my broken heart and he broke it again, last sat, i felt what God felt, i saw what God saw, many times when we see show, we cry, when someone passed away we also cry, but why we cry when someone passed away? Is it because we lost someone close to us or is it because we lost a soul to the devil? The fight for soul is always constantly going on, there is no rest, even if we fight for the soul, do we do it with passion and compassion of those who are dying without knowing Christ? We can fight with all our might and strength, but without passion and compassion, soon u will know everything return back to the original place.....the gates are closing for many, in my 16 years of life, i lost many friends whom does not know Christ, i seen them just going off with the devil, i seen death taking away my friends, how bout you? The world is wide, but God is BIGGER than the world, GREATER than the universe, so what if you are the only one on earth? Everything is possible with God, u want a miracle for things to happen? U be that very own miracle for yourself....


A.Maths paper 1 buang already la....sian, got study one never come out, never study one all come out, but luckily paper 2 is all i study one and thank God for helping me solve some Qn just before paper end......why i say so, its because i skip 2 Qn and while have time, God just place all the things in my mind and i just wrote it down, after that check with friends and i got it Right! Thank God!!

This week was rather a fulfilling week for me with God after Calvin encouragement, it pushed me forward to strive for God, if u all know what happen two week ago u will know why

No more blogging till 6 NOV till then :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Last sat was a really hard day for me to get by, in the morning felt so empty in me, just could not feel God, just felt all alone, the feeling of loneliness just overwhelm, and more towards noon a lot of things went through my mind, so much that i do not know what all really is, and felt frustrated....it was so bad to the extend that the devil took the chance to bring me down, i almost did not go church, the whole journey to church was a struggle to me, felt like no one knows how i felt, no one knows the hurt, the stress, no one knows how tired i am.....but still went to church, and when during pre-service prayer, when Munchong ask to pray for me, i told him whats going through my head and he prayed for me, though things got a little better, but it was still unbearable, so much that i almost cry when was interceding for service, when Praise and Worship started, for praise song my mind was not there, though i jump jump jump, but the heart was not there, then came worship songs and it was where God really spoke to me, from all the songs sang, the theme for the week would most likely be "FREEDOM", then I was touch by God and tears came rolling down, especially in the song tittled "In Your Freedom" [continue after lyrics]

In Your Freedom

Verse:
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You In my brokenness
And no other king could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

PreChorus:
I have nothing more
Than all You offer me
There is nothing else
That's of worth to me

Chorus:
And i love You Lord You rescued me
You are all that i want You're all i need

Other:

Bridge 1:
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You My cares released

Bridge 2:
(2x)
In Your freedom I will live, In Your freedom i will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

when we sang to bridge 1, it really touched me, what God said through Calvin really touch me and i teared even more, this is what God spoke through Calvin before we sang Bridge 1 "Rest in God and released all your cares" this touch me so much....and Bridge 2 came, "In your freedom I will live, In your freedom I will live" God spoke to me through it is that "My son, you have freedom in your life, you need not hide anything from me, you need not put on your mask, just remove it, for i know how you feel, I am always there for you" then in the freedom of God, i need not hide what i felt, i need not hold back my tears, that was why every time while worshiping God, i never hold back my tears, i never hide whats in me from God, you all may see i laugh with you all or i come without expression on my face, all seems calm and well, but whats in me no one knows it other than God, no one knows my heart........


So many problems, yet so little time, so stress out, yet so mentally tired, so troubled, yet no one knows other than God
How to tackle the problem, go either side and somebody get hurts, how!!!!!

Friday, October 12, 2007

I may not be the one you want me to be, i may not be the person you hope for, i may not be the person you like, i may not be the kind of guy who make lots of noise to hold the atmosphere like the kind u wish me to be, but i do not care how u feel, if u choose to take that path......i shan say anything but just keep quiet of what i feel

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

How much would you go to stop someone from walking that path with little turn? One of my friend is gonna walk the path with little turn, the path which i used to walk, the path called "Regrets" Its easy to get someone into a gang, it requires only one question....but to pull him out of the path, i cannot do it alone....所为学好三年, 学坏三天, in actual fact you do not need three days to learn to be bad, three hours is all u need....God assist me in this to bring him away from walking that path


I see myself in him, the me back then

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Before the normal post gonna blog some out of point thing......
Last Tues, attended Jane's grandmother funeral, did not expect the first funeral i attend would be Jane's grandmother, regretted not attending my own friends funeral while was young, well what past is past, now looking back at the path i once walk, there nothing but regrets for taking that path...well for now, after leaving sch, in the next phase do not want to walk back the same path already....

Church was fun, we had duty for selling the food for dinner to others, with Ali wearing like a pregnant lady, had quite some fun disturbing her, when first saw her did not bother much till Li Yuan told me she wore like a pregnant lady, then i shouted "Ali 几个月了?" and she gave the sian face.....shan blog much about service except the really important point [To me that is], there this point that obedience is one important thing in worship, and through it God convicted me of do i really love Him, like Jesus ask Peter[If i not wrong, sorry if i am wrong, feeling very tired now] , do you love me thrice, God ask me that question, and when i said in my heart yes, God question me back, then why do you rebel against what i told you to do, why do you suppress what i told you to do and run away? Well, seriously i do not know how to answer to God, and God convicted me of it....

Small group sharing was good with Cheryl coming to have a talk with us, God really spoke to me through her......its about responsibility or should i say being responsible for our spiritual growth, and she also say of burden, who does not? Everybody bear a burden, for me i bear the burden of Qi Jian, Munchong and Gabriel......the burden of Munchong is not so heavy, but the burden of Qi Jian and Gabriel sometime is too heavy for me, last time when i hold the burden for them, i not only hold it, but i also hold their burden, and when i took it off, it still is so tiring, its still draining me off sometime, like the burden of Qi Jian, sometime scared that he is not growing well, scared that he will not wanna go church, so many things...Gabriel is like scare he neva return to God like what Cheryl said about her dream of Gabriel being in an accident without going back to God, sometimes feel that perhaps it all should not have taken place if i did not do it, if i did not hold them and lead them when facing problem, but instead let the go and fall while being behind helping all this would not have happen, like when i let go, Munchong back-slide on the spot, but he return back stronger, but Gabriel, he gradually fall off, and i am scared he neva return, this burden is enough to bring me down, thats was why whatever Cheryl shared really sort of like "hold" me there, what if Gabriel has no tomorrow? What would happen to him? Actually i also should not have anymore tomorrow, once i almost got into and accident that could kill while racing on my bicycle down the car-park with having a collision of a car coming up, luckily the car brake in time and i also press the brake thus reducing the impact, but still got away with only a fall and not a scolding from the lady driver, another is i almost drown while was young, and the most recent could kill if God did not prompt me to stop, was crossing the road when God suddenly prompt me to stop, but i did not bother as there is no car, the suddenly while walking i could not walk on, its as if my legs were rooted, then i look up only to see a bike zooming past, well actually i should thank God for it......

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

If only u know and see some things beneath the facade, u would know the truth behind it....for no matter what we do it would never be good enough for we are labeled the "Bad Guys" in your heart

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

WORSHIP



I'M Yours

Verse 1:
Oh Lord
When I think of all You've done
My heart sings of Your love
That saved my soul
And made me whole
My life is Yours

PreChorus:
Cause You paid the price
I give You my life, I'm Yours (2x)

Chorus:
So no matter what the cost
I will go for You
No matter what it takes, I'm Yours
Because You paid the price at Calvary
I give You my whole life, I'm Yours

Other:

Verse 2:
Oh Lord
My everything to You I lift
My heart and soul I live
For You alone
I'm not my own
My life is Yours

Bridge:
I'm Yours
Jesus I am Yours (4x)








Healer

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

My Healer, You're my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands




Planetshakers sharing about song writing





In Your freedom

Verse:
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You In my brokenness
And no other king could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

PreChorus:
I have nothing more
Than all You offer me
There is nothing else
That's of worth to me

Chorus:
And i love You Lord You rescued me
You are all that i want You're all i need

Bridge 1:
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You My cares released

Bridge 2:
(2x)
In Your freedom I will live, In Your freedom i will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

*There a short sermon on the back after the song



You know all this video or even band need not exist? All this songs need not exist? Worship goes beyond the songs and lyrics, worship comes from your heart, you may go church every sat and jump, raise your hands but do you mean it? Or do you do it because people do it so you do? In one of Calvin's workshop, he noted this point about worship, worship goes beyond the lyrics, even if the band is introducing a new song, the lyrics is there, but don't keep on looking for worship is in your heart, like what Pastor Daniel also said, if u have sin in your hearts, confess it to God, its an even better worship than you singing the songs that the band are playing for its a close and personal worship to God himself, its between you and God. Like in Romans 12:1 it says "
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship", we should not let worship end on sat, but it shall not end even when we die, for when we go heaven, we would still be worshiping God for eternity with the angels....One part in the sermon is, in our everyday action, do we do things that proclaim God's name? Well for me, i did not for the past week, i did not do things that proclaim His Holy name, but instead i almost got into a fight which would happen if my friends did not pull me along with the other whom was with me, and during altar call, confess it to God, it felt great :) , felt just like being alone with God, talking to Him, and as i confess, could feel things lifting off from me, its like you can feel something charge out from you and after spiritual force just kept coming down.....




A sermon by Mike Guglielmucci

This sermon is so powerful, its like how we should give that last push into what we want, for the past week, in my "quest" in search for some answer thats been bugging me for few weeks, learn something from it, its like the answer that we are looking for in always been in front of us, its just so simple, it has always been right in front of us, but yet we always made things look complicated only to get back to the same spot and find the answer....you know the sermon by Mike Guglielmucci really spoke to me, many a time i have been just behind the crowd looking for Jesus, but i never gave that last push through the crowd and got to God, sometimes even when i pushes through the crowd, i felt so tired that i do not want to just stretch out my hands for God, God is already stretching out His hand calling out" My son, here i am", yet i just felt so tired that i see God hands yet i do not stretch out to God and i just gave up, and soon the crowd pushes me back to where i am again....