Before the normal post gonna blog some out of point thing......
Last Tues, attended Jane's grandmother funeral, did not expect the first funeral i attend would be Jane's grandmother, regretted not attending my own friends funeral while was young, well what past is past, now looking back at the path i once walk, there nothing but regrets for taking that path...well for now, after leaving sch, in the next phase do not want to walk back the same path already....
Church was fun, we had duty for selling the food for dinner to others, with Ali wearing like a pregnant lady, had quite some fun disturbing her, when first saw her did not bother much till Li Yuan told me she wore like a pregnant lady, then i shouted "Ali 几个月了?" and she gave the sian face.....shan blog much about service except the really important point [To me that is], there this point that obedience is one important thing in worship, and through it God convicted me of do i really love Him, like Jesus ask Peter[If i not wrong, sorry if i am wrong, feeling very tired now] , do you love me thrice, God ask me that question, and when i said in my heart yes, God question me back, then why do you rebel against what i told you to do, why do you suppress what i told you to do and run away? Well, seriously i do not know how to answer to God, and God convicted me of it....
Small group sharing was good with Cheryl coming to have a talk with us, God really spoke to me through her......its about responsibility or should i say being responsible for our spiritual growth, and she also say of burden, who does not? Everybody bear a burden, for me i bear the burden of Qi Jian, Munchong and Gabriel......the burden of Munchong is not so heavy, but the burden of Qi Jian and Gabriel sometime is too heavy for me, last time when i hold the burden for them, i not only hold it, but i also hold their burden, and when i took it off, it still is so tiring, its still draining me off sometime, like the burden of Qi Jian, sometime scared that he is not growing well, scared that he will not wanna go church, so many things...Gabriel is like scare he neva return to God like what Cheryl said about her dream of Gabriel being in an accident without going back to God, sometimes feel that perhaps it all should not have taken place if i did not do it, if i did not hold them and lead them when facing problem, but instead let the go and fall while being behind helping all this would not have happen, like when i let go, Munchong back-slide on the spot, but he return back stronger, but Gabriel, he gradually fall off, and i am scared he neva return, this burden is enough to bring me down, thats was why whatever Cheryl shared really sort of like "hold" me there, what if Gabriel has no tomorrow? What would happen to him? Actually i also should not have anymore tomorrow, once i almost got into and accident that could kill while racing on my bicycle down the car-park with having a collision of a car coming up, luckily the car brake in time and i also press the brake thus reducing the impact, but still got away with only a fall and not a scolding from the lady driver, another is i almost drown while was young, and the most recent could kill if God did not prompt me to stop, was crossing the road when God suddenly prompt me to stop, but i did not bother as there is no car, the suddenly while walking i could not walk on, its as if my legs were rooted, then i look up only to see a bike zooming past, well actually i should thank God for it......
Last Tues, attended Jane's grandmother funeral, did not expect the first funeral i attend would be Jane's grandmother, regretted not attending my own friends funeral while was young, well what past is past, now looking back at the path i once walk, there nothing but regrets for taking that path...well for now, after leaving sch, in the next phase do not want to walk back the same path already....
Church was fun, we had duty for selling the food for dinner to others, with Ali wearing like a pregnant lady, had quite some fun disturbing her, when first saw her did not bother much till Li Yuan told me she wore like a pregnant lady, then i shouted "Ali 几个月了?" and she gave the sian face.....shan blog much about service except the really important point [To me that is], there this point that obedience is one important thing in worship, and through it God convicted me of do i really love Him, like Jesus ask Peter[If i not wrong, sorry if i am wrong, feeling very tired now] , do you love me thrice, God ask me that question, and when i said in my heart yes, God question me back, then why do you rebel against what i told you to do, why do you suppress what i told you to do and run away? Well, seriously i do not know how to answer to God, and God convicted me of it....
Small group sharing was good with Cheryl coming to have a talk with us, God really spoke to me through her......its about responsibility or should i say being responsible for our spiritual growth, and she also say of burden, who does not? Everybody bear a burden, for me i bear the burden of Qi Jian, Munchong and Gabriel......the burden of Munchong is not so heavy, but the burden of Qi Jian and Gabriel sometime is too heavy for me, last time when i hold the burden for them, i not only hold it, but i also hold their burden, and when i took it off, it still is so tiring, its still draining me off sometime, like the burden of Qi Jian, sometime scared that he is not growing well, scared that he will not wanna go church, so many things...Gabriel is like scare he neva return to God like what Cheryl said about her dream of Gabriel being in an accident without going back to God, sometimes feel that perhaps it all should not have taken place if i did not do it, if i did not hold them and lead them when facing problem, but instead let the go and fall while being behind helping all this would not have happen, like when i let go, Munchong back-slide on the spot, but he return back stronger, but Gabriel, he gradually fall off, and i am scared he neva return, this burden is enough to bring me down, thats was why whatever Cheryl shared really sort of like "hold" me there, what if Gabriel has no tomorrow? What would happen to him? Actually i also should not have anymore tomorrow, once i almost got into and accident that could kill while racing on my bicycle down the car-park with having a collision of a car coming up, luckily the car brake in time and i also press the brake thus reducing the impact, but still got away with only a fall and not a scolding from the lady driver, another is i almost drown while was young, and the most recent could kill if God did not prompt me to stop, was crossing the road when God suddenly prompt me to stop, but i did not bother as there is no car, the suddenly while walking i could not walk on, its as if my legs were rooted, then i look up only to see a bike zooming past, well actually i should thank God for it......
posted by My life change on the day i stepped into COS(BT) at 5:09 PM
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