*BAM* just like that, year 2011 has come to an end. Like what Evan said, 2011 was good but 2012 gonna be better. Spent the night with Favoured at church office roof top. Finally after wandering for 2 years, God settled me in Favoured. Great bunch of people to know, thanks Bro Calvin and Sister Karen for asking me to join them during april. Had it not been for them in persevering to ask me into Favoured, i wont get to know all the great people in Favoured. With the end of 2011, 2012 gonna be a way where i want to be use by God. I want to care enough for God to use me in the life of the people around me, and also for Favoured to be a platform of change. To be the very platform where changes happen through us, when people see Favoured, they see God in everyone life. With ORD coming this year also, not only to learn driving, but perhaps follow Pastor Moses into Missions, kicking start God's calling in my life. Ending Year 2012 change is a must! Like what Evan said, there must not be room for a NO or Cannot Do It.

Since it was never meant to be right from the start, why persist on holding on? The group of us were never part of You all, just like the proboscidea, we were somewhat hook onto You all thats all, and we disperse all over after that.

This blog seems silent. No update, no nothing. So decided to update a little. Wonder if anyone still sees this lol

Read through some of the old and i mean real old blog post and see the kind of passion, fire i had in God before all the things happen. I understand why Jesus said let the children come to me, and not let the man come to me. The life of children are so different from an adult, everything is pure and good. Where else the life of a man is so different. Seeing the me from when i start out this blog till now, many things change. Can i still be that child? That kid like what Jesus said?

I no longer post the thing i post, no longer burn that flame with such passion, no longer commit myself, no longer _______________, no longer _____________, no longer _____________ and only God and those whom know me real well knows the answer to those blank.

I know of the consequences of not forgetting you, it might cost me my life when my heart and mind is not with me when i am on the road, but still i will fight for it and perhaps one day, this will come to a past :D

If u are still around here somewhere, leave a note

Listening to 070511 sermon once again, it brought back many memories of the past. Are we of any different from the group of people in the life saving station? Being in church for 5 years already, lots of up and down, seen how the story told is closely link to our church, link to the cell group ain't it right? In service, we are much alike the people in the club, we grow and grow, till we max out. All of a sudden, the number just drop, from one full hall to 3/4 of the hall occupied, and back to maxing out the space again, and it happen all over. Then we split services, from one service to two just because there is not enough space, then both service grow rapidly over the years and the number just drop once again, till there is not a need for 2 service. For cell group, is there not once where our number grow so large till it hit 30? Where there is so much people, fun every week? Then the number just drop rapidly over a few months till it hit half of what it used to be? Thats when a few of us just snap awake, seeing how things are being destroyed. We guys met up weekly to pray for it, things did changed, no doubt. Yet it slips back into the past once again, seeing no hope anymore. One by one, those that snap awake left....life changed, knowing that its time to stop or rather its when the why bother mentality come riding in. This time will things be any different once again. Down the years, will history repeat or will God change things around, thats all i ask for. Let things be different this time round, lets not allow history to repeat,

As i get closer to the truth of the thing in am looking into, fear is riding into me.

The more i seek the truth of it, the more i want to stop looking.

The answer is not that nothing was done, its just that the wrong person was sent forth to handle the situation

I WILL see the Sun standing still for the 3rd time soon, of which twice occurs in my family

Reading that line, my heart died once again. Knowing what is going on, trying to push out all the anger building within, though i might not allow it to reign within once again, no doubt the cost is a heart that is dieing slowly by the pain within

Yesterday sermon was a blast man, it hit point on in every bit of my life. Many a time in life we say why bother? what Pastor Daniel said really hit the bullseye or rather it taught me a lesson/smack me up. Many a time, when the devil know God can use you to do something so great, he start throwing all the "why bother" in the face of a great plan, many of us fail there did we not? I realize during yesterday sermon that when i start saying why bother? Why bother anymore, its when things are changing. Soon after i began to stop bothering, things changes slowly. Both side accept the reality of "why bother" just at different timing thats all. When they said why bother, things go downhill, when they start to wake up, i start saying why bother? I kill my own heart, and it never lives on again towards it.

Life regrets always come from yes or no. A yes too early or a no too late.

quote from Kaycey---Behind my smile is a hurting in my heart, behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the person I am, isn’t me.