Hey ppl, sorry wun be blogging bout church or svr for last sat.....got the stupid sore eyes then eyes very red and pain, so i do not wish to use the com thus wun be blogging this week.....
sorry for any inconvenience cause :D

Ok like i promise, i am back FINALLY!!! Come on clap, clap lei.......lol
Church was BOOM, being MIA for svr for two whole week, went back finally and God spoke to me greatly through Sister Wanping, been going through a very dry period for the past few week, i am falling away, felt that i am falling away very strongly, no longer feel anything, maybe i am numb now or even the passion is not there anymore......juz dunno why but feel that maybe God is losing its significant in me for the past week till Sat or should i say Sun when i hear the song "Devoted" it juz relighted that flame, that very flame that is dieing off.....sermon was about worry, who doesn't have worry? Everybody does.....though some may not say it out, but God knows it, like for me, i have worries, but yet i always choose to keep it quiet, u all may say why i do not say it out....the only reason is that perhaps some things i want to stay quiet of it.....if i could get it past, i will if i cannot, all i do is juz wallow in something and keep me busy enough to forget it, u all may say that its deceiving myself, but thats me, once i do things and keep me busy, i will forget it, even if it takes mths, i will still do it.......maybe its time to get it all off already ba, now as i am blogging, there is a feeling of some things like frustration wanting to break out, who noes once it break out, i will feel better, or what will happen if it breaks out? A lot of things are running through my mind now, sometime wonder if its worth fighting for the things you desire only to lose it at then end.......fight with all you had only to find that you will lose it or maybe a little percentage of gaining it, is it worth?

Got the Mission Trip application form already, i already filled in everything in it, but do not know if that form would be of use, having some parental objection again this year, this time by my father for he worry of what happen in Korea will happen in Thailand also, another thing is that my mother say that its not possible for me to let you go Mission trip yearly due to family income.....maybe its money problem that my mother disallow ba.....[ :( ] haiz......

Been so long since blogging liao.......tml i will blog bout church as i have to study for the stupid Bio mock test today, so cant blog long, gonna go chiong bio already.....see u all tml

So tired........so so tired....today celebrated Qi birthday, even though was tired due to lack of sleep yet still stay on because of her.....but did not expect so many things to happen, thought everyone would be happily walking to the bus-stop outside sch together, sending them to the bus stop and wait till the board the bus due to some things happening around Dunearn, but all was not in what i expected.......it became me sending them to the bus stop alone while all was not so happy.....first it was we wanting to discuss where we want to go to celebrate Qi birthday, but yet Mok kept on making so much noise and kept on wanting us to follow his wish instead, then started to felt damn Du ___ then juz kept quiet the whole while, then next is Callista by accident releasing off the balloon which Huiyu bought for her sister Qi, the balloon burst as it was cut by the fan blade, then Huiyu look angry, Callista is like blaming herself, and Qi look as if she was gonna cry while walking them to the bus stop, how i wish i could stop it, just take off that feeling of hurt within her, but i knew theres nothing i could do, felt so helpless......the moment i stop seeing that smile she had when we celebrate, i knew she felt bad, but i felt so disappointed that i could do nothing to turn it ard, could do nothing to bring back that sweet smile of hers..........

Once i had forgotten how to smile, but when i see that sweet smile of yours on your face, it leads me to smile when i think of you..........but yet when that smile of yours is gone, i feel disappointed in me that i could not take away your hurt and bring you that smile.........juz like you gave me back my smile