Qn to Team Saam + How cool is service this week?

Team Saam MT'06 Sister Karen was asking if want to meet up for lunch before service start one of this Saturday to catch up with each other, tag me, msg me let me know then i will inform her, dont bo chup lei


service was cool this week, Pastor Daniel showing us pictures of baby that were aborted, hows that? Cool right! If u are wondering what feeling did i have at the moment, my answer is nothing though, dont know why but i felt nothing, perhaps because i see the process of abortion before ba, not from silent scream but is the "china" version, saw it while my grandmother was watching the video, dont ask me why i also dunno.....many a time such things no longer make me feel anything, its not that i dont have compassion but its that perhaps i am numb to some things already....but this week sermon perhaps fall into place ba, like from last week during cell Cheryl ask me to pray for myself first before she pray for me, remember the time when i was praying was this sentence that came out of my mouth "Father i pray u give me love, let love cover me, let love heal all things..." and this week i fail though, Saturday i ask God to let love cover me, and Wednesday there i am hunting one person down to cut his finger, there i am finding one person to settle some feud....sometimes things just seem weird, i tell God to let love cover me, the next moment someone did something to me and my friend which lets say perhaps what i wont pass easily, staring and stuff i am cold bout it, i dont bother, but the other action that he did was what i went after and this Saturday it was bout murder not just in action but even thought...hows that huh, some things its just ironic, altar call was also forgiving the person, i sat there for a long time fighting the war within my mind, even when everybody is standing up already, i am still sitting down and think.... Sometimes things are just so nice in place, everything happen before hand and Saturday it comes and wo-la it just gets you to settle down and do things some are unwilling in the first place....

Lyrics of Rain Down

I am falling to my knees
I need You Lord to breathe in me
My prayer is still the same
My heart is calling out Your name

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on me

I'm longing just to see
Your power and Your majesty

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Sweet anointing
Wash me over
Sweet anointing
Wash me over

the first verse spoke to me the very moment Brother(married liao must call brother) Calvin lead the congregation in rain down, i really need God to breath in me once again, ever since the moment i told Cheryl and June that i am not myself, not in my right mind, though things change better over weeks, but some things lets say need God to do it now, what i need perhaps is God presence to rain down once again, like next its says my prayer is still the same, my prayer has never change, take anger for example, things goes up and down, there are time i curb it, there are times it loses control and now is one of the moment i loses control, never expected that within the small heart of mine, so many things are hidden beneath, some things only surface up when we listen to it and ask ourself right? Din even knew all this are within me till when Brother Calvin sang the song and i hear with my heart....Let God rain down on me this time round, i need u now before i return to the past, i am so scared that somethings will never be the same again, i am so scared that i will return to my past, like when Rebekah prayed for me last week that i will not go back my past, somethings has been hunting me again, i need God to rain down on me now and fast.......

realize i had never been saying yes or amen to every prayer, i will say "I will try" perhaps this gave me a chance to numb myself, i cant promise that i be the best warrior in your eyes to fight every battle, but i will try my best and mayb theres a room for me to hide

YES!!! Marcus is BACK, though now i am weak, though my amour is as thin as a piece of paper, though my sword is as blunt till it looks like a rod, though its not as sharp as a freshly produce blade, i will still fight. This time i am back and i will screw someone ass for messing mine, its time.......

2 CORINTHIANS 12:10b
"...For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Never intended to step back in COS(BT) but never regretted my decision for stepping back, its not sermon that kept me, but its the lyrics of the song "Burn" by Andrew Yeo. It goes by "purge away my sins, make me whole again, deep inside my heart,renew the fire again, burn in me the fire" (and i really need to purge away my sins now man, lots of things happen within these two weeks) it was during altar call when i was thinking bout this words when Z3 started playing this song, and that personal touch from God....saw God after so long, wonder how long since i cant remember it must be long, it was when PnW when He open my eyes again, i saw his glory, the glory he received when everyone praise him, worship him, especially during the song "Holy Is The Lord" the devil said" After this, just leave, it makes no difference...but for that miscalculation God says, think, it does make a difference, and i imagine what if one by one left? Even the Worship Leader Calvin they all, and there i am the only one standing, it does really make a difference and this was maybe what that made my decision to stay after thinking the whole night

To Satan:
Hey thanx for the gift you gave me, enjoyed it alot cant thank you enough for it, the gift of Anger, Hatred and Vengeance....But you had miscalculated one step, did it ever come to you that its gonna be used against you? I'm gonna use the vengeance within against you first before giving it all to God for surrender, enjoy :) and thank you
(continue post below)

LIFT YOUR NAME UP
Planetshakers (Arise)

I'm gonna lift You up
Higher than all things
Above every name

Cause You are my God and King
You made everything
So I give You all my praise

I'm gonna lift Your name up
So everyone can see You live in me

Shine Your light in me
So all the world will see
The power of Your majesty

Jesus I will lift Your name up

Let Your Spirit fall on me
Now so that all the
World will know that You're my God

Jesus I will lift Your name upo

I'm so in love with You
Everything You do
Everything You say

You never let me go
You're always in control
And I give You all my praise

Jesus I will lift
Your name up
Higher than all other names
You are my God
You are my King
You are my


talk bout dine at the king's table huh? Start of the year when Cheryl say lets dine at the king table and everyone is like Yes, ho-sei la, no problem, talking is easy huh, doing it is hard, half the year gone only and so many problems are happening, first for walk not good was Donric, then me and no Lovelle? Saw her blog and perhaps saw a glimpse of me within her entry, anger, hatred, vengeance lies within every word

When mind and heart link as one, when body and spirit link as one with God, Lives changes

To Cheryl

Its not that i do not want to reply to your message, its just that i do not know how to even say it now, just let me get back to myself and i will contact u.....

give me time to right the wrong
time to settle down....

To Cheryl

烦

Dont feel like staying home every night, dont feel like even staying at home when my parents are around, especially my mother. Very irritated by her actions most of the time now.....

很想哭， 却忘了怎么哭