Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Test after test of anger, getting harder as each test goes.......with each test getting harder and the devil putting more bad though into me, afraid it would burst off.....recently juz kept on wanting to see blood even though i would juz walk off like what i said back then instead of hitting, but it will take quite some time for me to calm down before going back......

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

ANGER!!!

Finally, after so long, manage to sit down in front of my com to blog.....from last fri was busy and the past few eek was so tired to blog so din not have the mood to sit down and blog, but whatever happen on 14/07/07, i HAVE to put it up......coz its really amazing....

BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE
On fri, which was on 13/07/07, someone piss me off so much that i would just throw my bag at the bus stop to chase after him and hit him......what happen was that Me and two other guys which one is a graduated student and another sec 3 went to Home Team NS to pass my friend some things as the sec 4 SL had dinner there, so went there and slack while waiting for my friend, then the sec 3 guy kept on asking why we come here and juz kept on asking even while i said it for alot of times, then he say "ar....i know already, u waiting for the girl u like right? You juz call her down and lay with her, lay until u happy" *lay was used as that time it was a vulgarities*....upon hearing it i was already not happy, but as we were in Home Team NS, thus i did not blow up or hit him as there were teacher around also......but after passing the thing to my friend, we made our way to WM, and the sec 3 guy suggested we sit Cab down when again we told him to sit bus instead, it was so irritated that i told him to shut up and take bus, but then he say "Marcus ar Marcus, why u like so boy boy like that, so stubborn"......Immediately i told my friend to take my bag, sensing something was wrong he refuses to take it but i juz threw it at the bus stop seat and chase after the sec 3 guy and wack him, but before i could lay my hand on him, my friend pull me back.......


Church
Sat was a blast for me man, had a worship workshop by Calvin which was GREAT....well Calvin if u are reading this, GREAT job or Karen if u are reading it, tell Calvin that it was GREAT! Learnt a lot of things through it and maybe gonna put what i learn cell grp PnW.......Well ALI was the ice-breakerer and it was fun man, especially the lime part, best part of Ice-breaker....like the lime, it was not even sour at all :(
Svr was BLAST, went for PnW which was led by Calvin since John left, during the worship part, i was like swinging like a tower, which mean base was firm but the top was like slowly leaning to left and right, soon after while in the mid song of "Came to my rescue" i juz black out all of a sudden while closing my eyes.....but when falling halfway, i juz suddenly open up my eyes and jump up due to reflex action, but one thing is that when my eyes open up, i felt like a force entering my body, such a strong force that sort of like pierce through into me pushing me down but slowly leaving me after that, when it happen, all i could remember is things that happen 5 min ago, which means watever happen in the 5 min, i do not know.....and something amazing is that all of a sudden i felt such a strong JOY and felt so energize......a feeling i neva experience before.......what even amaze me more is what God spoke through Sister Wanping, the tittle was ANGER......and i was like wow, what a cool God i have.....then sermon got this part which hit really on......"Anger at full blast could kill someone" and it juz hit on to what happen on Fri, while chasing the sec 3 guy, what was on my mind is juz hit the deadly point which could result in death or brain dead, both which was also deadly, of which one is the temple of the body which is ard the brain there.........and it was juz so true, whenever someone really pushes my limit, when i explode....it would not be talk but juz hit the deadly point first in the past......now as much as possible, i try not to interfere into such things already.......see what amazing God i have
After sermon, during cell, as Brendan was sick, June stand in as our small grp leader which we sometime disturb her during it as she was the only gal with 6 guys....u all should now guys, with the only gal ard sometime would kena bully one.....we had a discussion of how sermon spoke to us and after hearing it, and what we would do if anything regarding anger happen again....told her what would i do and even what happen on Fri, and she awaits us to say our victorious testimonies of how we defeat the devil.....along with God, but so far nothing happen yet, but the battle does not end this sat if nothing happen, it would be a battle for life until i see God face to face..........

An outrage of anger kills, even if it does not, it will hurt other badly

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

01/04/06 Never forget this day.....

Never forget that fateful day that change the lives of 4 people, 1st April 2006......at Fajar shopping centre, got betrayed by my best friend 和我出生入死的好朋友, place my trust but was betray and disappointed.....do u know the pain that comes along with it.......but well got it over liao except the relationship change a little though. Now the 4 are no as close as it was already......

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The beginning of the end

After this post, all shall start new again, after tml.......once i finish settling some unfinish business with this sec one guy, i shall step away from all things happening in sch and concentrate on studying already.......

Things turn round when my boys complain to me bout the sec one guy.........intended to let him off for staring at me, but he use force on my boys....time to stop it once and for all through talking of course =)

An END is an END

Monday, July 02, 2007

Everything ends.....all solve
Always remember an outburst of anger kill, even if it does not, it hurts other badly

Well sermon was partly like a booster to last week sermon on temptation....i believe for last week, the devil has been slogging like hell to get u all into temptation right? For me i had it, dunno bout u all, but my temptation is sort of like some blood hound coming back, like in discipleship regarding the blood hound story, the blood hound are never able to find u, but the devil led it back this time, temptation of not coming to church and going back to the start is one of them, its like juz dun go church anymore and return to be with the world as one, this time going back would be more bad as intention of tattooing also came along with it, but still resisted it back, then this week is like a lesson to fight back, for the past week, we resist and the devil flee from us, but for how long? He flee and return soon after, this week is like a fighting lesson to hit back the devil real hard, the weapon is PRAYER.....

Another part of the sermon is about dreams, what dreams do you have? What kind of dreams u want to accomplish in your live? Something BIG or small? Like Jabez, he dreamt BIG, he dare to dream what others do not dare, do u dare to dream BIG? Pastor Daniel ask us to tell God bout our dreams and even write it down whenever we want to accomplish it, well my dream is little puzzling to me, is it what God wants me to accomplish? Like this one time i was looking out towards a few big piece of land and God juz place things into my mind.......its like since the nation can have NDP celebration at the heartland like Jurong east and stuff, why not we christian have such things? Like global day of prayer, but difference is we do it in the open, set up sitting platform in the field where there is this main stage where preaching and PnW are done, then those walking past would feel like,wow the music are so nice, the IMPACT is felt all around, what are they doing? Because of curious, they will see and hear testimonies upon testimonies of God's power and maybe some will also juz fall unto their knees and say "GOD! I NEED U! NEED U IN MY LIFE, I FELT SO EMPTY, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I WAS NEVER FILLED, DEEP DOWN THERE THIS EMPTINESS I COULD NEVER FILL NO MATTER WHAT I DO"......they shall be saved then......well sometime felt so puzzled, God always place dreams of preaching to huge crowds, but what does it mean? Anybody can tell me? Curious to know.............


This dream can never be accomplish if God does not help me, this dream cannot be accomplish if the christian of singapore does not unite and rise towards God, not only YOUTH IMPACT but all christian youth organization in Singapore..........