2nd direction

Was reading Matthew 5 just now, through it, God somehow gave that 2nd tug this time round, along with it came a clear direction of what i ought to do first.

Matthew 5:43-48

⁴³"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.'⁴⁴But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (not really meaning persecute, but those whom offend you?), ⁴⁵that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?⁴⁷And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

If I only loved those who love me, what difference would I be from them? Met the guys on sunday before i enlist for army, had quite a heated debate with the only guy whom is still in lifegroup. After the "debate" and i think it through, God convicted me of the fact that i should not debate so fiercely in front of some of them, reason being the tone and the way things are presented is not in any way gentle. Like it or not, there are always time inevitably we would do things that does not build others up. Thinking through the whole conversation, God pointed out the fact that through those tone that was presented, it was directed to "destroy". Perhaps this is the reason why God did not allow me to look Cheryl up the other time. He was protecting us from getting into more friction between us, most importantly He was protecting me. He knew at the point if i were to look her up, things would come down harsher and all the more i would "destroy". Thus making an error in which i could not reverse no matter what

I remember in that conversation/debate on sunday i said this, "When people left, u all pray, one or two weeks? A month long maybe? Then what? I can also pray, i can pray one whole year also, daily i pray for them. But of what difference would i be? To just pray and do nothing?"

In the same way, God pointed out that if i were to love only those whom love me, would i be of any difference from others? Upon this i also realise that very moment i became indifferent to things, i stop loving people. Seeing the way i speak on sunday you would more or less understand. For if i do not love, my judgement of things (not meaning judging people, but more of like to differentiate the right/wrong direction) would be clouded with the past mistake of others/mine, anger, feelings and more.

So here is the 2nd tug and an obvious step to take. But like what i said, i am very reluctant to. Sister Karen and Brother Calvin would understand this :)

Things are always more than meets the eye

Many times in life, what we see are just the tip of the iceberg, the tip of everything. Its what we do that allows us to go deeper and know what is under. Its only for those whom seek deep within to know what is beneath, for those whom dont, you will never know the answer fully even from those whom search beneath.

To Cheryl (not sure if u are reading this, but will still post it up)
Am i glad and happy that you obey God[thumbs up for it (^^)b] and that you had spoken, but the timing is wrong. What i said yesterday are just bits and pieces. Angry part, yes, there was one period, but now I am no longer angry, reason being I chose another way of looking at things. Its different altogether. You are one whom will speak up, I am one whom will keep quiet to lots of things, so please do not ask if there is anything i want to tell you. Ask me whatever you want to know and i will answer what is needed. One truth for you to know, whatever i said yesterday is just the surface of many things. Thus i told u not to harp on it too much.

Sorry if whatever is written hurt you or offend u. But this is what in my mind now. Dont feel sad or down just coz things dont work out. Be happy that you had obey God.

I am aware words spoken are not being able to be taken back, but i will still say it after much thought and struggles. I am clear headed now, this are not words of anger or words which aims to destroy.

In Desperation...

For the Lord is faithful when you call out to Him in desperation. He is faithful to answer your call and also faithful to His words that He will forgive you.

I experience it before, when we call out to God, He WILL turn up. You never know all the things i had done....yet God forgave me. He even spared this life of mine.

From all the life experience, I had see that God will turn up no matter what, the only missing factor is TIME. No matter how, till now I had never been able to anticipate the timing in which God will appear. The only thing is, not many persevere on long enough for the right time. Somehow, God will turn up the very last min. Not sure for you all out there, but for my life? It always seems so that God always turn up only when things are reaching its end.

Do not show me or point to me the way, guide me the way and i want to learn the right way. The way where right and wrong are cut apart by your words.

For so long...i finally said "I am a christian"

something is coming my way? Teach me to learn to trust in you in the storm and not in peaceful time.