What come to pass is already irreversible, i have lost and thats a fact that i lost to the devil and it ruin my life even till now, somethings just are irreversible but this time, I WANT TO CHANGE HISTORY!!! This will be the first time for me, the last for the devil, we will wait and see. Not through running away, not through burying it under, but i will control it this time round, not it control me but i will control it.

P.S I see flashes of things many don't. I feel it trying to enter my body

One phrase was all it need to keep me fighting

It has been 9 days since the start of the fight, with each sunset the devil runs and the war begins and i begin to wonder how long will it last, the fight where losing is not an option, where going AWOL is not an option, a fight where hiding is not an option, a fight where u have to fight with the devil head on, for the past 7 days it was the verse of Psalms 144:1-2 that kept me on, and for the last two, it was guts that fought it and i was tiring out. But today saw a mail of Wayne replying to the prayer mail and went to the link to watch a video by Louie Giglio tittled laminin, it was what he said in 00:30-00:44 of the video.For those who trust in Him, He will literally hold them in His hand and carry them all day in their lives.

Psalm 144

Of David.

1 Praise be to the LORD my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.

2 He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples ^[a] under me.

If one day i were to leave and never turn back, dont call out for me for i will never turn back even to have a last glance

see the picture and understand

East to West
Here I am Lord and I'm drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now
As though I've never sinned but today
I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scar[r]ed hand to the other

I start the day the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your [T]ruth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scar[r]ed hand to the other

I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you But your holding on to me Your holding on to me

Jesus, you know just how far
The East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
(The arms of your mercy I find rest)
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scar[r]ed hand to the other(x2)

(Just how far, the East is from the West) (x3)

From one scarred hand to the other


I dont want to blast anyone tonight, i really want to blast at my team
leader, its getting overboard day by day, and the battle is draining me
out, i want to shout but yet i fought, and each fight something rises
in me........this song is like talking about me, i want to fight the
war, but each day the devil is eating me up, help....

There it goes again, all from the same person......
Perhaps its time to settle it as a family instead of my own family
Perhaps some of you say older generation problem we younger don't interfere
BUT mess with my family, mess with me, mess with me .......

i am ready to break off if its the case
say i am heartless? you have no idea

Two weeks, Three same things

Within Two weeks, Three person said the same thing
Don't know how long will it last
Perhaps i am really tired, perhaps like what God said through Sister Wanping "I have already given up" even though i do not know.

God, 我真的没力了 this is what i say to God during Altar Call after Sister Wanping said all she had to


Matthew 11:29-30
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."